To use a massage gun on your partner, turn it on at the lowest speed, rest it lightly on a big, soft muscle, and glide it slowly without pressing down, about 30 to 60 seconds per area. Keep it off the spine, the neck, bones and joints, and anything bruised, injured, or sore to the touch. Ask how it feels early, and stop the moment they wince.
A massage gun is a lot stronger than your hands, and the person holding it can't feel what it's doing. That's the whole reason to go slower and lighter on someone else than you would on yourself. Done gently, a gun like the NorthPalm massage gun is a good way to give tired hands a break during a longer massage. For the rest of the setup, start with our guide to giving a massage at home.
Key takeaways
- Start on the lowest speed, rest the gun lightly on a big, soft muscle, and glide it slowly without pressing down.
- Keep it moving, about 30 to 60 seconds per area, and less on smaller muscles like the calves.
- Never use it on the spine, the neck, bones and joints, the head and face, or anything bruised or injured.
- Stop if they feel pain, tingling, numbness, or shooting feelings, or want to pull away.
- Skip it if your partner takes blood thinners, is pregnant, or has a recent injury, and talk to a doctor or licensed therapist first.
Check first: when not to use one at all
Ask before you start. Skip the massage gun, and talk to a doctor or licensed therapist first, if your partner:
- Takes blood thinners, has a clotting problem, or might have a blood clot (Prisma Health)
- Has numbness in their hands or feet (peripheral neuropathy), because they won't be able to feel if it's bruising them or hitting a nerve (Prisma Health)
- Has a recent injury, broken bone, surgery, or metal plates or screws in the area (Prisma Health)
- Is pregnant
- Has pain that's sharp, lasting, or from an injury, or any medical condition they're unsure about
A massage gun at home is for comfort and relaxation on healthy muscles. It's not a treatment, and it's not a substitute for someone trained.
Where it goes, and where it never goes
Good spots (big, soft muscle):
- The thick muscles running either side of the spine, between the shoulder blades and the waist, never on the spine itself
- The tops of the shoulders, the meaty part between the neck and the shoulder joint (Prisma Health lists the upper shoulder as okay)
- The buttocks
- The backs of the thighs
- The calves, briefly
Never:
- The spine. The bony bumps down the middle of the back. Stay a couple of finger-widths out to either side.
- The neck. Front, sides, and back. A physical therapist at Prisma Health says not to use one on the neck at all because of the risk to blood vessels there (Prisma Health). Use your hands for the neck instead; how to massage neck and shoulders shows how.
- Bones and joints. Shoulder blades, hip bones, elbows, knees, ankles. Anywhere you can feel bone close under the skin.
- Just below the ribs. Go gently there with hands only; how to massage the lower back explains why.
- The head and face.
- Bruises, cuts, broken or irritated skin, and recent injuries (Prisma Health).
- Anywhere that gives pins and needles. Tingling means you're near a nerve. Move off it straight away (Prisma Health).
Step by step
1. Get them comfortable
Have your partner lie face down with their head straight and their arms relaxed by their sides. Their neck should be resting, not twisted to one side, because they'll stay still longer if they're comfortable. A face cradle like the NorthPalm headrest clamps to the side of your bed and keeps their head straight while you work on their back and shoulders.
2. Pick the head
Use a broad, round head for most of the back and legs. Smaller heads are for more focused pressure, so save those for later, if at all. Ours ($64.99) comes with four heads, including a fork-shaped one made for the muscles along either side of the spine. It sits beside the spine, never on it.
3. Start on the lowest speed
Turn it on before it touches the skin, at the lowest setting. Most people never need more than that when someone else is holding it. If they ask for more, go up one step at a time.
4. Rest it, don't press
Let the gun's own weight do the work. Hold it so the head just touches the muscle, and glide it slowly, much slower than feels natural. If you're pushing down, it's too much.
5. Keep moving
Work in slow lines or small circles around a tight area rather than parking on one spot (Prisma Health). One massage gun maker suggests 30 to 60 seconds for most muscle groups, up to two minutes for large ones like the thighs, and 30 seconds or less for the calves (Hyperice). On a partner, stay at the short end.
6. Check in
Ask once, early: "Lighter, firmer, or just right?" After that, watch them. Holding their breath, tensing, or pulling away all mean ease off or move on.
7. Finish with your hands
A few minutes of long, slow hand strokes over the back is a nicer ending than switching off a buzzing gun. It also lets you feel for any spot that seems tender, so you know to skip it next time.
When to stop
Stop and switch it off if your partner feels:
- Pain, not just firm pressure
- Tingling, numbness, or shooting feelings
- Anything that makes them want to pull away
Bruising afterwards, or soreness that lasts days, means it was too much: use a lower speed, less time, and lighter contact next time. If pain doesn't settle, see a doctor or licensed therapist.
A gun is a helper, not the whole massage
For most couples, hands are where a massage starts. The gun is useful when your fingers are tired or your partner wants firmer pressure on the big muscles of the back and legs. Swap between the two, and the massage lasts longer without either of you wearing out. More ways to save your hands are in how to give a massage without hurting your hands.
Cleaning: switch it off, then wipe the gun and the heads with a soft, dry cloth. Don't put it in water.
Questions people ask
Is it safe to use a massage gun on someone else? On healthy, soft muscle, at a low speed, kept moving and away from the spine, neck, bones, and injuries, it's generally fine. Anyone on blood thinners, pregnant, or with a medical condition should check with their doctor first.
Can you use a massage gun on someone's neck? No. Keep it off the front, sides, and back of the neck. Use gentle hand strokes there instead.
Can you use a massage gun on the spine? No. Use it on the muscles either side of the spine, a couple of finger-widths out, never on the bony ridge in the middle.
How long should you use a massage gun on one spot? Keep it moving rather than holding it in one spot. About 30 to 60 seconds per muscle area is plenty, and less on smaller muscles like the calves.
Sources
- Prisma Health: who should skip a massage gun, where it never goes, and keeping it moving
- Hyperice: how long to use it on each muscle group